He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends. Proverbs 17:9 (NKJV)
No one is perfect. Even in the closest relationships and with the best intentions, people hurt each other.
To maintain close friendships, it’s vital to understand what separates friends.
Here are two things that can come between friends:
1. Offence. If a friend does something to hurt you and you keep bringing the event up—verbally or mentally—you will struggle to forgive and your friendship will separate. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s a choice. Talk to your friend and then refuse to rehash the incident. Eventually the hurt feelings will subside and you will be able to give them the chance to earn your trust again.
2. Others. If you suddenly feel distance between you and a friend, it may be something you did unknowingly… but it also may be the result of what someone else said. Proverbs 16:28 talks about people who separate friends: A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends (NKJV). Some love to cause drama in friendships. Often these people are insecure about being your best friend and feel the need to put down others to get that position. Others are always looking for a bit of juicy gossip. Avoid these friendship separators if possible and talk to your friend if they try to come between you.
If you can learn to communicate well with a friend, you can overcome almost anything. Develop relationships where you are both willing to talk about what is bothering you and you will ensure that your friendships remain strong for life.