Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Joshua 1:8 Sometimes we make reactionary decisions based on our feelings, when all we really need is an adjustment in our focus.   How we feel isn’t necessarily determined by what happens to us. Often those feelings are a result of what we’ve chosen to focus on. For example, focusing only on what bothers you about someone has one effect. Focusing on what you love and appreciate about that person has another. Focus affects feelings. Even when others hurt us, we need to remember that no one can make us …

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 Did you grow up without someone telling you that you are amazing—just as you are? God loves each of us unconditionally, with no strings attached. And when we experience his love, we are empowered to love like he does. First Corinthians 13 teaches us how to love others the way God loves us. It says: Love endures. Love has to endure because all of us are imperfect. People will do things you don’t like, but you can love them anyhow as you confront the behaviour that hurts you.   Love is patient. Even healthy relationships require repeated forgiveness and understanding.   Love is kind. When you …

God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. Ephesians 4:15 (MSG) What does it mean to speak the truth in love? The same truth can be shared with different intentions. Let’s pretend you’ve noticed that one of your employees has been slacking off at work lately. This employee often gets on your nerves, so you can’t wait to lay into them about their behaviour. The trouble is, if your intention is to put that person in their place, you’re not going to speak the truth in love. Your motive is to bring them down and it’s going to come across very maliciously. Now, let’s pretend that you’re dealing with the same issue—you need to …

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. Proverbs 27:6 (NLT) Strong friendships can only form if two people are willing to broach the truth with each other…even when it gets uncomfortable. We all want relationships that are supportive, strong, happy and fun. We want people around us who we can trust and who trust us; friends who can have a good time but are also willing to help us up when we fail and lend a shoulder when we need someone to lean on. To develop these relationships, we need to be willing to talk about the issues that stand between us. We can’t dance around each other’s hot buttons because we’re too afraid to rock the boat. We …

Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” Matthew 16:23 Even the healthiest relationships experience conflict. No matter how wonderful the relationship is, you’re going to need to create boundaries and stick to them. Even if you think you’re being the “bigger person,” it’s unhealthy to be quiet about behaviour that crosses boundaries. The silence not only hurts you, but it also enables the other person to continue destructive behaviour. In developing healthy relationships, follow Jesus’s example. Jesus didn’t hesitate to confront those he loved. When Peter tried to talk Jesus out of fulfilling his mission, Jesus instantly confronted his behaviour. You …