A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; and a gossip separates the best of friends. Proverbs 16:28 (NLT)
We’ve been on a series talking about the book of Proverbs’ wisdom for relationships, and today’s verse broaches the subject of gossip. Gossip is something we need to watch out for when we’re establishing new relationships.
Why is gossip harmful to relationships? As today’s verse says, gossip can separate the best of friends. You see, some people just love to stir things up. They are quick to focus on other’s flaws and they seem to take offence with everything. Because of this, they can create problems in your other relationships.
In fact, sometimes people will gossip and try to find fault with your other friends in order to establish a closer relationship with you. You may not know if this is their intention or not, but you can still deal with the behaviour. Set a boundary by letting people know that you won’t tolerate it if they put down your other friends.
While gossiping about other coworkers or friends might seem like an easy way to build connection with someone, it’s not the way to build strong, trusting relationships. In fact, if you know that someone just loves to get into all the juicy gossip going around, be careful about trusting that person. If they’re quick to gossip about others, you never know when they might turn their fault-finding microscope on you.
When you meet someone new and gossip comes up, try casually diverting the conversation away to a different topic. If that doesn’t work and it keeps coming up, you may need to address the topic directly in a loving manner that clearly communicates your boundaries.