Do you wish you had more influence with certain people? The truth is that before you can influence someone, you need to build a relationship with them. There are four building blocks to relationships, according to Tom Marshall’s book entitled Understanding Leadership: trust, care, respect and understanding. Without these four, there is no relationship. First let’s talk about the one I’ve already mentioned: trust. Trust is the most fragile of the four. Trust is something you build over time, but you can lose it in a moment. You build trust when what you say lines up with what you do, when someone tells you something sensitive and you keep it to yourself, and when you come through for someone in need. You also build trust …

Every person on this planet has the potential to be a leader, no matter what their personality type. You see, leadership is just influence, as John Maxwell puts it, and we all have the opportunity to influence others. The problem is few people think of themselves as leaders. Many assume that leadership comes with a title, but it’s not true. In fact, titles are often a detriment to leadership. Titles tend to have a strange influence on people’s thinking. Those who pull rank and rely heavily on their title are using positional leadership, which is the lowest level of leadership. If someone has to say, “I’m in charge” frequently, they probably aren’t. True leadership is through influence, not position. Consider Former American President Dwight D. …

Now and then, a little tension in a relationship is healthy. In raising five kids, I can tell you that even the closest siblings have disagreements. As annoying as these conflicts can be, I’d rather see them angry with each other than bending over backward to try to keep each other happy. That’s not real relationship. Relationships need honesty, even if it gets uncomfortable. This principle applies to relationships at work as well. While I’m not saying that it’s necessary or even a good idea to bare your soul to your coworkers, the reality is that you need to have good relationships with the people you work with. And learning how to navigate conflict is a part of every healthy relationship. We can tend to …

Sometimes it can feel like things are moving so fast that you’re no longer making your choices on purpose. Instead of spending time on your priorities at work, you live in what I call the reactionary zone, just reacting to the problems that pop up day to day. You’re consumed with problems. Although we all go through seasons like this where it takes everything we have to deal with the problems we are facing, we can’t create a successful career in this mode. There has to come a point where, no matter how busy you are, you choose to build your career instead of just survive it. Building your career is about more than solving problems. It’s about choosing the direction you want to go. …

Do you often feel stressed out? Many of us accept anxiety, worry, and stress as normal. If this is you, you might actually get upset with other people if they don’t get stressed and worried with you. You mistake their calm state as a sign that they don’t care. You may think that you have to get stressed out under pressure to get the job done, but in reality, you’ll be more effective if you don’t. Not only are you less productive when your stress levels are high, but it affects your entire team. A stressed-out state of mind causes you to make poor decisions, it makes you more susceptible to illness, and it causes others around you to get stressed out as well. The …