“Be angry, and do not sin.” Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV) Now and then, a little tension in a relationship is healthy. In raising five kids, I can tell you that even the closest siblings have disagreements. As annoying as these conflicts can be, I’d rather see them angry with each other than bending over backwards to try to keep each other happy because that’s not real relationship. Relationships need honesty, even if it gets uncomfortable.   God doesn’t have a problem with anger; He just doesn’t want you to behave inappropriately when you’re angry. Actually, anger can be a good thing in relationships. If someone treats you with disrespect, you need to put up a boundary, and you may even need to communicate it with controlled …

Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said. John 21:16 (NLT) Do you rescue people for the wrong reasons? This type of helping is unhealthy because it’s done to make you feel worthy of love, or because you can’t stand the guilt you’d feel if you didn’t help.   Several years ago, this came up in my life. I was asking God what I should do to help someone, and had an impression that the answer was nothing. I remember thinking, “I can’t sit here and do nothing! But I sensed God saying, “You do more for people than I do.” I was trying to fix …

If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. Matthew 18:15–17 (MSG) Have you ever noticed that opposites attract? Sometimes one person is a people-pleaser who needs to be needed, and the other relies on people to fix their problems and holds others responsible for keeping them happy. We’ve been on a series over this Christmas season about toxic love, and both people in the above example are engaging in this conditional, you-need-to-earn-it kind of love.   If you’re looking to build a solid relationship with someone, please don’t look for someone who needs you. Find someone who chooses to spend the rest of their life with you and who …

Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking. 1 Corinthians 13:5 (AMPC) Are you secure enough to be okay with making people unhappy? During one of your Christmas get-togethers, you may have come into contact with someone who tries to get you to do what they want by guilting you into it. We all make the mistake of putting conditions on our loved ones at times, but some people seem to make a habit of it. In this case, I’m not saying that you should intentionally make their lives difficult, but you need to stand up for what you believe is right. If they aren’t happy with you, it’s okay. You need …

[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ… and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]! Ephesians 3:19 (AMP) Christmas is all about love. God loved you so much that He gave His only Son, and that love could be flooding into your life right now. Think of the power of a rushing river that can move massive trees and boulders, and let it change the way you think about God’s love.    You see, when you believe and receive God’s love, nothing can stop it from flooding into your life! You may not always feel this love, but God’s love for you is not about feelings. It’s great to tap into God’s love in …