So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 (NLT)  When you feel hurt, often it isn’t because of the people around you. When you get to the bottom of it, hurt feelings often have more to do with what’s going on inside you.  Shame, for example, causes all kinds of relationship trouble. If you’ve never accepted God’s forgiveness or become aware of the fact that you’re a brand-new creation in Christ, you’ll be easily hurt. Every time someone corrects or questions you, you’ll feel like it’s an all-out attack on your self-worth. And because you feel you have something to hide, you’ll have trouble connecting with others emotionally.  In your marriage, if you can’t seem to connect with …

O my God, I trust in You; let me not be ashamed; let not my enemies triumph over me. Psalms 25:2 (NKJV)  If you’re dealing with shame from your past, it’s always going to bring confusion in your relationships.  Before we get into this issue, let me identify the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is about your behaviour or actions. When you do something wrong, you feel guilty, and this is normal. It motivates you to ask for forgiveness or do what you need to do to fix the situation.  Shame, on the other hand, is an identity issue. It goes much deeper than behaviour, and that’s why we have to deal with it. When your identity is wrapped up in shame, it affects …

For it is by free grace (God’s unmerited favor) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God. Ephesian 2:8 (AMPC)  Did you know that you already have all the grace you’ll ever need to make your relationships great?  It would be exhausting to think that it’s entirely up to you. I understand that we need to put effort in, but we can’t forget that we have God’s grace in us, powering us on and helping us to make great decisions and create thriving relationships.  Ephesians 2:8 says that this grace—God’s power, ability …

You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 2:1 (NKJV)  It’s human nature to stress out and try to fix things all on our own strength. To create great relationships, I’m not saying that we don’t have to put some effort in—or even a lot of effort. But while we’re working at it, we need to realize that we’re strong in God’s grace. It’s His presence within us that gives us the power to build the best relationships.  How do you know when you’re walking in His grace? When you’re relying on God’s grace, you may be learning, growing and working hard, but you’re not frantic, fearful or anxious. You have a deep sense of peace through …

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)  In Matthew 6:33, Jesus gives us a key to great relationships. When we seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, all other things (including great relationships) will be given to us as well.  What does it mean to seek first God’s kingdom? Well, as believers, we always need to be conscious of advancing Jesus’ cause in this world. And what does it mean to seek His righteousness? Here is where many relationships struggle. You see, if you aren’t progressively getting more established in the fact that you’re right with God, you’re going to search for that feeling of love and significance elsewhere.  Many …