As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17 (NKJV)
Are your friends making you sharper? Proverbs 27:17 talks about how one person can sharpen the wits of another just as iron sharpens iron. In the Bible in Basic English version it reads, “Iron makes iron sharp; so a man makes sharp his friend” (BBE). Your friends can make you sharper!
So…what kind of friends make you sharper? The kind who are willing to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Friends who are willing to tell you the truth, even when it hurts, are invaluable.
Speaking the truth in love is absolutely key when it comes to building a strong marriage. It’s normal to disagree with your spouse. I’m always concerned about couples who never disagree. Often this means that one person is just giving in to the other. This is a recipe for an unhealthy relationship. Sure, the truth sometimes starts a fight, but fights resolve as long as you stay respectful and you keep talking things out.
We need to be willing to tell each other how we really feel, but we need to do it with love. It’s never helpful to judge someone’s heart or intentions, and it’s vital that you refrain from attacking the person. Talk things out, but keep the conversation about events and behaviour, not character and motives. We need to be willing to sharpen each other, even if it’s uncomfortable. We need to risk being a little uncomfortable instead of saying nothing even when we know someone is headed for disaster.
If a good friend takes a chance and tells you they think you’re making a mistake, resist the urge to get defensive. Let your friends speak the truth in love and you’ll develop friendships that make you sharper.