Like many of us, I can get wrapped up in my own world—the problems I’m facing and the goals I’m trying to achieve. I often need to remind myself that all the members of my family have their own worlds too—their own struggles, dreams, and daily realities.
Actually, I’ve found that an important key to connecting with my kids has been to step out of “my world” and into each of their worlds as much as I can.
At first this wasn’t easy. When I worked in emergency rescue, my world included attending to suicide calls, accidents with multiple casualties, and victims of brutal violence. Because these problems seemed so big, I struggled to identify with my kids when they shared their frustrations.
When they were little, their school-yard problems seemed small compared with the crises I dealt with at work. But their problems were huge in their world, and rightly so. If I were in their shoes, I would have felt the same. I had to find a way to identify with their world so I could see their problems, wins, goals, and dreams from their perspective.
One of the keys to that was learning to be truly present when we were together. All parents have problems and issues vying for their attention, and I was no different. In the midst of all that, I had to switch my focus. Rather than smiling, nodding, and pretending to listen while juggling a thousand priorities in my mind, I had to focus fully on the moment and on the person I was with. Though I haven’t always done this perfectly, I’ve learned that it’s a skill you can build. Now I love being in the moment with my family and it’s one of the greatest joys of my life!
When you make the decision to enter fully into each of your loved ones’ worlds, you’ll start to love it. You’ll be able to see life through the eyes of a child and to connect with your spouse on a level you never dreamed possible. You’ll share their wins and help them walk through the losses. You’ll experience the joy of walking through life with them, and will remain close to each of them even through their teenage and adult years.
So if you’re a parent, or if you’re involved in the lives of children in any way, it’s never too late to start learning to live in their world. I’ve found that this is the key to being Spirit Contemporary with the next generation.
What do I mean by “being Spirit Contemporary”? Well, it’s a term that our team coined to describe a unique approach. Being Spirit Contemporary is all about learning to be led by Holy Spirit in a way that meets people where they are. It’s about walking in all of the power that Holy Spirit makes available to us for our everyday lives, but not in a strange, off-putting kind of way. It’s about being supernaturally empowered, yet normal and natural, and it’s about learning to connect with people in a way that really works.
This Spirit Contemporary approach is the key to building a connection with kids that lasts. Ask Holy Spirit to lead and guide you in your relationships with your kids. And at the same time, make the effort to really understand what they are dealing with on a daily basis.
It’s this Spirit-led yet relatable approach that will keep your relationship strong for a lifetime.
Adapted from The Spirit Contemporary Life: Unleashing the Miraculous in Your Everyday World by Leon Fontaine. Get your copy today!