Are you secure enough to make people unhappy?
At work, you may know someone who tries to get you to do what they want by guilting you into it. I’m sure we’ve all done this at one point or another, but some people seem to make a habit of it.
You don’t have to bend to this kind of pressure. You need to stand up for what you believe is right. I’m not saying that you should intentionally make their lives difficult, but you do need to be able to confront people who try to manipulate you by pouting or guilting you.
Maybe this person relies on you to fix their problems and holds you responsible for keeping them happy. You’re always doing whatever you can to please this person, but it’s never enough. According to them, you’re always to blame. You hold the key to their happiness. You fix all the problems. If this sounds familiar, you need to know that it’s not too late to make a change.
You may not be able to control what this person does, but you can decide what you tolerate. Get some help if necessary, but start enforcing healthy boundaries.
Then, if they try to cross these boundaries by using guilt and manipulation, you can refuse to allow it. Even if they’re unhappy with you, you can walk free as you learn not to get your self-worth from what they think of you.
Changing the status quo in a relationship takes work, but it’s so worth it! Never allow someone to hold you responsible for absolutely everything or use anger or guilt to dominate or control you. And, when it comes to choosing where to work, please don’t go looking for a place that needs you desperately and can’t function without you. Find a place to where your employer chooses you, knowing that you aren’t the magic bullet who can fix everything in every area.
Be secure enough to make people unhappy. Don’t just accept the way your relationships are; set healthy boundaries and stand up for them. Be intentional about who you bring into your life. And don’t make the mistake of basing all your self-worth on what others think of you.
When you become more established in your worth outside of your performance and others’ opinions, others lose the ability to hook you with guilt and emotional outbursts. Even if they try, it won’t work. You’ll stop needing others to be happy with you all of the time and you’ll find the freedom to create a rewarding work environment with healthy boundaries.
Leon Fontaine is internationally renowned for his ability to equip people with skills for life. He is the CEO of Miracle Channel and senior pastor of Springs, a contemporary church with six campuses across Western Canada. Visit www.leonfontaine.com for more great articles as well as weekly videos and podcasts. Email your comments to [email protected].
