For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)
Why are some people stuck in a destructive pattern where they seem to recreate the same painful circumstances over and over?
I’ll give you a hint. It’s not fate. It’s not some external force that keeps recreating the same problems.
We often assume that something outside of us is controlling our lives, but it’s not true. We think that if we could just fix the people or the circumstances around us—our spouses, kids, job, house, city—if we could just fix all these things, everything would be okay. Actually, you could fix all of these things and still have the same problems follow you wherever you go, because wherever you go and whatever you do, there you are!
The problem of repeating destructive patterns is an internal, not an external problem. Why does someone who has suffered abuse often end up with another abuser, for example? Because they’ve developed misbeliefs based on past experiences. If their experiences have caused them to perceive themselves as deserving of abuse, for example, subconsciously they will be attracted to the kind of people who will end up confirming their beliefs.
Do you find that you keep repeating the same relationship struggles? Are you tired of having the same fights with your spouse or your parents? Do you keep attracting people who mistreat or take advantage of you?
Over the next few days, we’re going to cover a few misperceptions that may be affecting your relationships. Take the time to think about and challenge these misbeliefs. The truth will set you free so you can go to a whole new level of love and intimacy in your life!