He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. John 3:30 (NLT)
What does dying to self, mean?
First of all, let’s talk about what it doesn’t mean. When the Bible talks about dying to self or denying self (see Matthew 16:24), it isn’t saying you need to give up on all your dreams and desires. It doesn’t mean you die to the dream of having a happy marriage, a loving spouse, a family, or living with purpose. It also doesn’t mean you should stop managing workloads, handling business or developing skills.
Dying to self means that in every life situation, we stop being selfish and focus on others.
In the book of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon described what he discovered about having a self-focused attitude. Despite his incredible God-given wisdom, he found that this type of life only left him empty and unfulfilled (see Ecclesiastes 1:14, 2:3–11, 6:9).
Constant focus on “me, me, me” is a quick trip to misery. On the other hand, dying to self suddenly frees up space to see beyond ourselves—to see and care about the needs and concerns of others instead.
So, to “die to self” means not obsessing over ourselves or what’s in it for us. It means realizing our way is not the only way. It means being okay with a lack of recognition. When we think less of ourselves, we give God more space to work so He can bring others to His kingdom through us.
You see, dying to self doesn’t mean we stop living. It means we start living fully in Jesus, free of that constant self-focus. Letting go of a self-centered life opens up our hearts to let Jesus shine, so that when the world sees us, they see Him.