..nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. 1 Corinthians 10:10 (ESV)
We often think if we’re grumbling about something, that we’re resisting it. But when we grumble about something and do nothing about it, we’re actually tolerating it.
Simply put: it’s easier to complain than to get up and do something to change the situation. And the danger of complaining is it can drive a wedge between relationships.
For example, when our five kids were little, I could have easily walked into our house and grumbled, “Oh man, this house is a mess. I wish these kids would fix their beds or clean up after themselves. I’m so sick and tired of this messy house.” While complaining away, I could have put my feet up, watched TV and began to resent the kids causing the mess.
Now, complaining is a deceitful thing: you think you’re standing against dirtiness and disorganization, but your inaction shows otherwise.
Instead of complaining, Sally and I worked at training our kids. It required putting some systems in place. We needed to enforce consequences. It involved confrontation, discipline, energy, and it was tough—much tougher than sitting on the couch complaining about the mess!
Similarly, complaining about someone won’t change the relationship. We need to be willing to work at it, saying, “Hey, can we talk? There’s something I’d like to work out with you.”
The Bible instructs us to teach, equip, rebuke and love. (See 2 Timothy 3:16–17, Proverbs 9:9, 22:6, Colossians 3:16.) It takes more work but is productive and holds far greater reward in the end.