You are blessed. According to recent estimates done by the World Bank, having an income that falls below average in North America still means that you’re better-off than two thirds of the world population. Even if all you own is worth only $2200, you are wealthier than half of the world. And if your assets are worth over $61,000, you fall in the top 10 percent.
Regardless of our everyday struggles, and even in times of crisis, we have much to be thankful for. God has blessed us in a variety of ways—and He’s blessed us for the same reason He blessed Abraham: to be a blessing (Genesis 12:1-3). In 2 Corinthians 9:11, Paul said “I am enriched in every way so that I can be generous on every occasion, and my generosity results in thanksgiving to God.” Blessings are meant to be fluid; they’re intended to not only flow to us, but through us.
In 1730, Benjamin Franklin made a list of virtues he felt contributed to building character. He focused on one a week, practicing it until it became habit. This concept is behind a series we’re on right now with this column. You can read the first four columns in this series on my blog site at www.leonfontaine.com under the category “Better habits for a better life.” This week, let’s focus on the habit of generosity.
Being generous has many benefits. It keeps us from becoming materialistic and selfish. It also secures respect, earns trust and builds a good reputation with others. As Jesus says, it’s better to give than receive (Acts 20:35). Knowing we’ve met someone’s need is so rewarding—whether or not that involves money. Science proves this. Researchers at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke used MRIs to reveal that giving activates the donors’ brain reward centers, the same centers responsible for the euphoria associated with sex, money, food, and drugs.
Generosity also implements the law of sowing and reaping (Galatians 6:7-8). Jesus puts it this way: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Fundamentally, we can all agree that generosity is a good trait to exhibit. So why do we struggle with it?
Some suffer from the fear of lack. They worry there may not be enough time, money or other resources to meet their needs. However, that’s not how things work in God’s kingdom. There is no lack with God. When you put Him first, He promises to not only meet your needs but also give you the desires of your heart. Others have been hurt in life and believe the only way to ensure their needs are met is by looking after number one. But God wants you to know that you can trust and rely on Him. When you get your security from God, you gain a confidence that allows you to go into any situation and believe your needs will be met.
Everything we have ultimately comes from God. Anything we can give—love, time, encouragement, food, money—it’s all God’s really. Deuteronomy 8:18 reminds us that God gives us the power to get wealth. We’re really just stewards, not owners, and when we focus on this fact, it’s easier to put things into perspective.
This week, move your focus off lack and onto what you have to be thankful for. Trust that God will fulfill His promise to meet your need. Then look for ways to be extravagantly generous in your everyday life. Once you discover how great it makes you feel, you’ll search for any excuse to be generous!
Most people can remember the first sincere compliment they ever received. For some it was a respected teacher pointing out a talent or strength. For others, it was a parent, noticing a good overhand in baseball or an aptitude for creative arts. Whatever the source, sincere compliments make a lasting impression.
But here’s the thing about compliments—we never outgrow them.
Everyone loves a sincere compliment, especially from someone they admire. Bosses who let their employees know when they’ve done a good job and compliment their strengths have a more motivated and satisfied workforce. Employees who notice and mention the attributes in others are viewed as great team players, and teachers who strive to provide a healthy dose of constructive compliments are successful in building up the next generation.
People are drawn to you for the way you make them feel. Have you ever examined how you make the other members of your team feel? Giving sincere compliments is instrumental to keep others attracted to your team or workplace.
Certain struggles are common to all in some degree or another. Everyone struggles with insecurity or questions their value at some point in time in their life. As a leader, you can be mindful of this common struggle to feel confident and valued. Giving a compliment is one great way you can influence your team members to feel good about themselves and their contribution. Don’t wait for them to show you that they lack confidence. Some may never reveal this to you. Just assume that we all need a regular dose of appreciation and respect.
Here are a few more thoughts on compliments:
1. Compliments can feel awkward. If you weren’t brought up hearing compliments, it won’t come naturally to you. It takes practice. Resist the urge to downplay compliments you receive from others and simply say thanks. If you feel silly pointing out things you admire in others, forge ahead and do it anyway. It’s worth it to work through any awkwardness you may feel.
2. Don’t assume that people know they are doing a great job. Some of the most talented and intelligent people think the opposite of themselves because no one has told them otherwise. Make it your job to let your team members see their inner strengths and attributes through your eyes.
3. Compliments are an easy habit to break. It seems the longer you know someone, the harder it is to compliment them. Don’t let complacency or familiarity get in the way.
4. Attention to detail is the key to paying good compliments. Be specific, otherwise your compliment will come off as fluff.
5. Make sure you are sincere in your compliments. False flattery and manipulative praises will be exposed. Take a real interest in others and be sincere in your desire to make them feel better about themselves and their contribution.
6. Never mix sarcasm into your compliments. Saying the opposite of what you mean through a sarcastic compliment isn’t irony, it’s hurtful. If there’s a flaw you want to point out in another person, do it with tact, grace and honesty. Remember, sarcasm doesn’t have a place in any relationship you want to keep.
7. Others will rise to your level of compliments. Sincere compliments are a way of bringing out the best in others. They also help to keep you focused on the positive side of life, which will lead you toward living a happier life and enjoying great relationships.
Never underestimate the power of a sincere compliment. You have the ability to make people feel valued, appreciated and respected just by developing the small habit of giving regular compliments.
During the World War II, the US War Advertising Council developed a slogan, “Loose lips sink ships.” It served as a warning to American serviceman and citizens to carefully guard their words concerning secure information that may have been useful to the enemy.
It’s incredible to think that one small slip of the tongue could have cost thousands of lives—or maybe even could have caused the loss of the entire war.
Words are not just the transmission of news or the utterance of sound. Words are containers that hold success or failure, health or sickness, and happiness or despair. They determine the level of your relationships and impact your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. All too often we speak carelessly without realizing the impact of our words.
We’re on a series right now and each week we’re looking at developing one new positive habit. If you missed last week’s column on the habit of thankfulness, you can find it at my blog site, www.leonfontaine.com under the category “Better habits for a better life.” This week, let’s focus on the habit of controlling our words.
Being a skilled communicator is more than knowing how to articulate your thoughts and feelings. It’s also about respecting the power of words.
It’s not just what you say during prayer time that’s important. God has made you a self-proclaimed prophet. The things you say today will impact your future. Proverbs 18:21 says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. God has given you the authority to speak into your own life and shape the outcome of your destiny.
Words can move you forward or take you backward. God wants you to have a great marriage, amazing career, and be a conqueror in life. But in order to speak as though your life is headed in that direction, you need to have faith. Romans 10:17 says “… faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.” As you begin to understand who God says you are and what you have access to because of Jesus, you will develop a new language. You’ll change how you speak about the problems in your life.
The next time you come up against an obstacle, you won’t say, “I’ll never overcome this problem,” because you will understand that God has promised to work all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). Instead, you’ll find yourself saying, “I am not going to let this problem overwhelm me. God will give me strength.”
Your words also affect the people around you. If you say something in recklessly or in anger, you can never get those words back. God can help you make amends and restore relationships, but words can never be erased. Get into the habit of not ‘speaking your mind’ when you are angry, over-tired, or stressed. Give yourself a cooling off period before any verbal confrontation—at work or at home. It’s a fact of life that we need to have difficult conversations with others. Sometimes we need to react to something someone has said or done. But even when confronting, we can still be respectful with our words.
Ask God to help keep your mouth dignified. In a world surrounded with negativity and bad news stories, it may feel like an uphill struggle to speak positively. Ask God each day to help you stay focused on and speak about the truth and beauty in life. He can help you to keep your words pure when talking about your life, yourself and others.
Controlling your words requires a daily, continuous effort and there’s bound to be backsliding from time to time. However with God’s help, you can gain control over your tongue and alter the course of your life.
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